This weekend I had the privilege to be the cantor at a Catholic wedding. It was at a beautiful little church amidst the hills of south Austin called St. Catherine of Sienna. The ceremony was touching, and as a hopeless romantic, I can’t think of many things I enjoy more than witnessing two people who are unconditionally in love become one flesh in the holy sacrament of matrimony. So this got me thinking: Where the heck is my man?!
I know, I know, you’re probably tired of seeing these types of statuses all up on your Facebook and Twitter, but seriously, I don’t think I’m asking for much. All I want in a guy is someone who’s super smart, gut-busting-ly hilarious, has a stable plan for the future, and, of course, loves Jesus unconditionally. I know these men exist, so where are they and why don’t I have one?
As college students, one of our many concerns is our plan for the future. Relationships are an especially hard part of our “planning” because, unlike our major or internships, it’s something we can’t choose or control. It’s something that God has planned out for us before we were even born.
I mean, you can plan your class schedule and you can schedule interviews for a job, but you can’t really decide, “Today, I will meet my future husband at the Starbucks on 24th and Guadalupe at 12pm sharp. We will both order iced Caramel Macchiatos with soy, and our hands will touch when we both reach for the cup. Our eyes will meet and we’ll fall hopelessly in love forever and ever.”
If only, right? But things like this don’t happen on our schedule, they happen in God’s perfect timing.
The Blessing of Singleness
I know it might not seem like it with society constantly telling us that we are nothing without a significant other, but the state of singleness is a blessing from God. I mean think about it, if you’re currently single but called to marriage one day, this is the only time in your life when you don’t have to worry about somebody else; when you can be your own person. This is a time when you are free to do whatever you want whenever you want with whomever you want (don’t get too crazy, though).
I’m not saying it’s the easiest thing in the world to be single, but it is a time to grow deeper in your relationship with God and prepare yourself for that special someone. It is also a time to learn to feel satisfied with and thrive in the current state that God has put you in. I mean, if you’re not happy while you’re single, then how do you expect yourself to be happy when you’re married?
Preparing for the Future
I’m sure we’re all familiar with that famous “love” verse from 1 Corinthians: “Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Isn’t it beautiful how God is gracious enough to show us His unending love? So, here’s a little challenge I present to you, whether you are single or in a relationship. When reading 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, replace the word “love” with “I”. Can you honestly say to yourself, “I don’t seek my own interests, I’m not quick-tempered, I don’t brood over injury,”? To tell you the truth, I can’t say these things.
So back to the question, why hasn’t God given me a man? Well, God has kept me in this state of singleness to prepare myself for whomever I will one day marry (if I’m not called to religious or single life, that is) and to further grow in my relationship with Him. He has shown me how to love people even when it’s hard, and how to show His light to the world. I’m not saying that I’m perfect and do these things 24/7, but, slowly but surely, I am learning how to do so.
So remember that whatever your relationship status is on Facebook, whether it be single, in a relationship, or maybe even engaged or married, God calls us to love all people and to do everything in love; because it’s only in loving as Christ loved that we can become one with Him.
“Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7)
Laurelin Ontai is a media intern for Campus Renewal Ministries. She is currently a junior at the University of Texas at Austin and active in her ministry at the University Catholic Center. If you have any questions or comments, please contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org